Inbox for Sn: Pai Sho - Avalon

[uncle_iroh]

(Please note that Iroh still does not quite understand his phone so... this will be.... interesting.)

"My nephew tells me that I should ask you to leave a message. He says he will show me where to find that message once I have one. So please, leave a message."

Comments

[rediscovering]

"It's poisonous, Uncle — it can't be made into tea. I asked."

He recognizes that inspection and follows Iroh's train of thought without the man needing to say anything at all. Zuko had foresight for once. But he huffs, sweeping the room in long, quick strides to collapse on the couch as if it were his own home, resting his arms behind his head and talking to the ceiling instead of looking at Iroh when he speaks.

"And by everyone, I dunno, my friends, people I know — it's just come up a lot lately... Hikaru, mostly, I guess. He's trying to play matchmaker, I can tell."

He says it with some derision, some dismissiveness, but Iroh knows Zuko all too well enough to hear there's also some tone of endearment in there, amusement, fondness... Zuko can complain about it, but from the sounds of it, he's letting it happen anyway.

[uncle_iroh]

Oh well. At least they looked and smelled nice. Though his arm did itch at the thought of drinking another poisonous tea...

"Has it come up more, recently, for a specific reason, prince Zuko?"

[rediscovering]

"No."

The sharpness and quickness of that 'no,' just on the tail of Iroh's own question he could barely finish before it being shot down, is a very clear 'yes.' Zuko's not a great liar.

[uncle_iroh]

"What is her name?" He was guessing at the pronoun, given he'd only ever seen Zuko seem to be interested in girls, but he'd accept anyone who made Zuko happy. Or at least the proper sort of miserable.

[rediscovering]

Shoot, saw right through his thin veneer!

"...Aurora..." Zuko mumbles after a pouty silence, shifting his pose on the couch to cross his arms over his chest, closed off though opening up. Can't just have a direct conversation with Iroh about this stuff, after all; has to have some grumpy pomp. But if he hadn't wanted to talk about it, he wouldn't have said anything, right? Right.

[uncle_iroh]

"A lovely name. What is she like?"

[rediscovering]

Zuko stretches his legs out on the couch (sorry, did you want to sit here, Iroh? Whoops. All the extra time he's spent with Azula shows itself in small ways... like the way he lounges...) but cranes his neck back to look at Iroh from behind, almost upside-down. He's surprisingly quick to respond. Obviously, he did want to talk about it, then...

"I've never met anyone like her, Uncle — she was... I dunno, elegant. And kind, I could tell. Gentle. But she seemed smart, too."

He flops over in his seat to lay on his frontside and look at Iroh like a normal person, propping his chin up in one hand.

"Uncle, why don't people dance in the Fire Nation?"

Where did this question come from?!

[uncle_iroh]

He was smiling as he listened but at that question...

Iroh found another seat and brought it over, before bringing them both tea. It wasn't that he wasn't going to answer. He was. It just wasn't a simple thing to answer. And he was trying to figure out how exactly to explain it. He knew that it cast their family in a bad light. A very bad light; while he was used to that by now...

He sipped his tea and then set it down, arranging himself in his chair before he spoke. "Part of how you grew up was because you are a prince, Zuko. But some of what people outside the Fire Nation might see as odd about how you were raised is the same for all the Fire Nation children of your generation. Dancing, music, art. These, and many other things are passions, prince Zuko. For many they can consume a person's life. We were taught to believe this is a bad thing. And if you want to bend those people into warriors who follow your every order, they are."

He tugged lightly on his beard in thought. "Take yourself for an example. Your father taught you that what mattered was his opinion of you, your honor - as he defined it, and your duties to the Fire Nation. Had other things mattered strongly to you, then perhaps I could have convinced you to set aside your hunt for the Avatar. Who knows how things might have turned out then," he mused, then waved that aside.

"Had you been interested in dance or music, as examples, you would have learned that they can be used to communicate. If you came across someone using Water Bending to create music, you might have stopped to listen, you might have spoken to them as a person you could respect, rather than a potential subject to subjugate. The fewer interests we have not tied directly to the glory of the Fire Nation, the easier we are to control. The easier it is for us to see people who are not part of the Fire Nation as other. Lesser. It is my hope, Zuko, that when you serve as Fire Lord you shall welcome in other passions, and learning from around the world. Our world has had too much of war, and too little of music."

[rediscovering]

"So she was right..." He mutters, more to himself than to Iroh, an odd, thoughtful expression on his face, before explaining himself a little more clearly.

"Aurora said she meditates through music — by singing, and dancing. When I told Aurora that we don't dance in the Fire Nation because it's considered inelegant and a waste of time, that as an art it does nothing to glorify the Fire Lord, that even in the theatre it would not make him look stronger, just foolish and flippant, so without that patriotic aspect, people don't see much value to it... She said something that struck me. She said there was much about dancing that a powerful leader should be afraid of. That it is a silent language — the soft touch of a hand or a simple glance can mean something much deeper than can be understood by someone who's not dancing the dance. That a dance can be mournful as much as it can be joyous. And if people can communicate silently through soft touches and certain looks — then that's a threat to a nation leader who wouldn't want his people exchanging words he cannot understand."

A vague melancholy look creeps over his face, still cupped in his hand languidly as he ruminates over this confirmation of thoughts that have been on his mind for a good month or two now.

"...Our people are being deprived of a basic human instinct, aren't we? It's just something else the Fire Nation has stolen and ruined for us, all for the sake of our family's politics, for the Fire Lord's ego! No one can dance because of our fear! It's just more propaganda — isn't it?!"

Who knew Zuko would have this philosophical epiphany about dancing... Iroh, your nephew has come so far in such a short time, in so many unexpected ways.

[uncle_iroh]

He was impressed. And wanted to meet this girl. He sipped his tea as he listened, then set it down and refilled his cup. "It is not dancing, but yes. Look at all the art forms in the Fire Nation, then see how they are expressed in other cultures. Why do you think there are songs that I taught you, or tried to teach you, that were not the few songs allowed and taught in school, prince Zuko?" he said gently, knowing that this could be painful. In many ways Zuko's childhood had been worse than is, but in a great maybe ways... they had been nearly the same. It had been a hard lesson for him to learn. At least he could be here for Zuko.

[rediscovering]

"I never understood it, Uncle, until coming to this world... ...I taught Aurora songs from our world, too, actually. We, uh—" He glances aside, nervously, realizing this is an open admission that he was singing with a stranger — a pretty girl. Not that he's mentioned she's so pretty yet, but it's implied. "We met in a meditation tent. A magic tent that played sounds that relaxed whoever was in it. There was this exercise going on about learning how to synchronize magic with people, a trust exercise. Uncle, when she sang— a forest appeared...! An enchanted forest appeared all around us, an illusion, glowing, and there was the sound of a zheng playing that Fire Nation lullaby about the little soldier boy, and it was like— like magic! I mean, it was magic, but it was like magic, too, you know?"

He'd never seen anything like it in his life, he was stunned from that moment on, amazed at this world, all its possibilities, amazed at his own blindness...

"We also sang Four Seasons. And— I taught Gokudera that song, too, much later on. Not so long ago. He played it for me on the piano, actually — he just copied it when I sang it... Uncle, it was amazing, I wish you could have seen him— I've never heard sounds like that!" Somehow the mafioso has found his way into this conversation, too, as he has many others, with the same kind of energy as Zuko speaks with when speaking about Aurora, little change in his animation and admiration. "And when Aurora sang, too, and her voice, wow— she sang a song about a dream... The way she danced, the way he played— I don't know how to describe it. There's something deeper moving them than like anything I've ever seen back home. It's not like singing 'the Girls In Ba Sing Se,' Uncle. It was different. Is it really just— passion, you called it? That's it?"

That seemed too simple. Zuko felt he knows what passion feels like. But he's far more limited than he even knows yet. He knows what intensity feels like; he knows what drive feels like; passion is something else he's not been allowed to fully explore, whether by his father, his culture, or his own self.

[uncle_iroh]

He listened. He managed to keep most of his own emotions off his face for most of that, other than interested politeness. But it was harder, so much harder at the mention of the lullaby. He did it, but not with ease.

But for all he didn't show the deep emotions, they did colour how he internalized the rest of what he listened to. How he thought about it. When Zuko asked his questions he nodded. "There is no just about passion, Zuko," he said. Where his face was its usual polite and loving self his voice... ah his voice. It was slightly thickened by emotion. "There is no just about any emotion, any drive. It is what we each make of it, and it can be as small and personal as your own heart - itself no small thing - or it can be as bright and fiery as the sun at noon in summer. Passion is individual. It is the flame or flames within us. But with all flames we must nurture it. And we were trained to nurture only the flames of war. We had to learn elsewhere that there were other flames as well."

[rediscovering]

Zuko nods eagerly as Iroh likens artistic passion to nurturing a flame. It must be given fuel, carefully looked after, kept nearby to feel its warmth... Zuko understood and the implications of the well-chosen metaphor made him like both his friends even more.

"I understand. Music...— it makes people feel closer together. That's why you always pushed so hard for the music nights on the ship, isn't it? It wasn't just for a lark with the crew."

He's like a year and a half late on the uptake, but better late than never...

[uncle_iroh]

"You finally understand, yes. And that is part of why I always wanted you to join us. Experiences shared, especially those tied to things other than war, can form bonds that will last." He stood and walked over, putting a hand on Zuko's shoulder.

"Some leaders lead people through fear and intimidation. Their people will follow until there is something they fear more. Some through distant respect. Their people follow, but it is a distant sort of thing. But some leaders step off their thrones, Zuko. Some leaders show their people that they are a leader when one is needed, and a friend and person the rest of the time. Those leaders are followed out of more than respect, and something greater than fear." He dropped his hand, and acknowledged the problem with that.

"Though the more people one leads, the harder that becomes. Because there will always be people who see proof of humanity as weakness, and there will never be enough hours in the day to connect with everyone. And for people with a temper, there is always the chance of that attempt blowing up in your face."

But then he offered a warm smile. "But as with all things, Zuko, the secret is balance. You want your foes to fear you, your people to respect you, yes. But you also need people who genuinely see and like you. I do not know," his voice got more grave and serious now, "if I would throw myself in harm's way to save my brother." He did not ever want to have to test that. "I would, however, die to protect you, my boy. And that has nothing at all to do with being a leader."

sorry this is so late!!

[rediscovering]

"Uncle, please—" Zuko pleads, his face awash with emotion as Iroh comes to such a tender point. It's hard for him to hear such schmaltzy sentiments sometimes, as much as they resonate and hit their mark — he just never knows how to respond. Like when he was about to embark alone in the North Pole, and Iroh told him he was like a son to him since Lu-Ten's passing. He knows the man doesn't say these things without due gravity, but he says them so much more easily than Zuko does, it seems, and Zuko wishes he had the words to accept such love with as much grace as it's shown with. Instead... Iroh has just had to learn over the years how to interpret nuance in Zuko's facial expressions. And truly there is so much affection and resonance and complexity in his face right now, too, processing all of this, but that comment at the end about his father and himself tugs at his heartstrings and sideswipes him.

"...B-But— A-Anyway. I see what you mean... about balance. Everything always comes back to achieving balance in life, it seems..."

Good place to wrap?Re: sorry this is so late!!

[uncle_iroh]

And he let the emotional moment go, feeling that was what Zuko would prefer. The words had been said, no more needed to be added to adorn them.

"Everything always does, prince Zuko."